I just want to live

I am not interested in fighting, hating, blaming, or being petty with whatever remaining time I have on earth. I just want to live, laugh, love, beloved, be happy and be at peace with everyone.

My ultimate goal has always been to be happy, and have a stress-filled life. I always wanted to be love and be loved, little did I know it never existed among people whose ultimate goal was to play others and live off from them.

I met my first love during my final years in college and I felt he was going to be my first and last. I didn’t hold back anything I gave my all, but he didn’t do better. He was my junior in school and his remaining two years in school; I paid his bills because he told me he was an orphan with no source of livelihood and I was in love, I believed him and made sure he never lacked throughout our stay in school.

I so much trusted him that I never for once tried to verify his stories or whatever he told me; I loved him blindly and that was what was killing me slowly.

I later found out three years after living with me that this young man had a family, a big woman because he had five siblings and his parents were very much alive, while he told me he was an orphan with no siblings.

I felt played and I hate deceit with everything in me; he wasn’t apologetic he walked away and never looked back. Someone, I was making plans of starting a family with; I’m picking the pieces of my life left, I just want to live again.